Mature wild boars are dangerous animals. If you happen to come eye to eye with one and they feel threatened, you are basically screwed, or better yet, skewered. They will outrun you, have sharper pointy ends than most of us humans and can even uproot trees in case you decide to climb one to get away – the tree, not the boar. In short, you don’t want to meet one of them in person. This is a story about poor planning, lime-flavoured poison, a retired Nascar driver, benches full of stupid and noisy, unprocessed bacon.